seven people and a story about self deprecation

Seven people checked this blog on June 23, and found the same post from before Memorial Day.

I’m sorry.

I think there’s been some kind of block on my brain.

I feel intimidated by this blog because on one hand I am afraid to be honest because

1. I’ll upset people

2. I’ll shock people who would never think I could “say”, “think”, or “write” anything like that and those people might be my a. parents b. employeers c. the people I write about, shock!

3. I’ll open up in real way that I haven’t been opening up on here.

And on the other hand, I’m avoiding this blog because I think no one is reading.

I’m between those two places.

And what an egotistical crock of shit! Who the hell cares about my inability to write. The fact that I’m writing about it publicly shows how much I think of myself and about myself.Like people really care about this. They probably stopped reading after the picture of the hands, Janine!

But those seven people.

Who are you?

Are there actually seven different people who check in because they believe I’m going to get myself together and be the “writer” I keep claiming I am.

I once read this quote that said “never wish more than you do”. And the first thought that came was, “That’s your issue here Janine. You think too much. You wish for the writing to come, and you wait. And you wait. While everyone around you is at least trying, you wait.”

….

AND now I’ve become the writer who talks more about writing than she actually puts pen to paper. Dammit.

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5 thoughts on “seven people and a story about self deprecation

  1. Josh Zenker says:

    I’m probably not counted in those seven people, since I follow your blog via Google Reader. Anyway, for what it’s worth, I’m reading.

    • janinejulia says:

      Josh! I’m so glad to hear from you! How are you? Thanks for letting me know you read. It’s funny how this is turning into a ploy for me to hear from my readers….I’m so sneaky (without even knowing it at first) mwahahahaha.

      • Josh Zenker says:

        Haha, yes, you’re sooo sneaky. I’m doing well. I *finally* graduated earlier this month. I’m starting a full-time job in the tech department of a financial firm in July. Until then, I’m simply enjoying being free. I hope you’re doing well too.

  2. janinejulia says:

    Mazel Tov Josh!

  3. Leigh says:

    I’m one of those people.

    And, writing about writing is writing. Just saying.

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